november pest

this month has not done me any good. lahat na yta ng panahon na nbadtrip ako, nalungkot, naiyak, nagalit andito nah. there were times na masaya ako. pero i couln't help but think na may kapalit ung pagiging msaya ko. a few more days to go and i'll be glad this will be over.

birthday blues

over nga ba? im looking forward to my 22nd birthday and i don't think it will be that much fun. not everyone remembers my birthday. coz if it doesn't fall on a weekend, it surely will be a no-class, no-work day. and people tend to forget to greet you coz they don't see you. (some people do.) well, it's on a holiday kc. buti na lng i have work, it might cheer me up. i was invited to watch a movie with some friends. i hope to have a good time.

btw, c allan lng and lui among my "friends" ang nkakaalala. and allan was the only one who has been constantly greeting me whenever possible. ok lang sana kaso.. one time, he told me something like friends nga kme ni lui coz we have these "birthday blues" nga. coz i was telling him na im upset that the other guys don't remember. hai.. wag sana maghanap ng treat ung iba jan na ndi nman alam kung kelan ang bday ko. =(

m really sad.

i'm planning to buy that red jacket from adidas or that red bag na mukhang ubos na. gift ko sa sarile ko pra happy me. but it depends if i have money pa. =( got to pay for gadget pa.


undas
i was asked to stay in pasig for two nights. coz walang ksamang "grown-up" ung 2 cuzins ko and the helper. i agreed to go since i've got work during the holidays. and i anticipated heavy traffic here along sucat hi-way on those days. while i was there, i found out kuya went to the cemetery already. he could go alone and he does it sometimes nman tlaga. so i texted my mum and coco when will we go to visit my dad's grave. and nobody replied. when i came home, i learned they have already gone there and did not wait for me. i was really sad and kind of mad coz it was the first time they went without me. how could they do that? we have always planned the date and time when everyone is good to go. and now they just didn't wait for me.


graveyard
i thought there's nothing scary sa mga graveyard. well, i don't go there alone nga kc dba. whether it was day or night. but when i went earlier to visit my dad's grave, i got really scared dhil ako lng mag-isa. alam mo ba ung huling poste na may ilaw sa gitna ng kalsada? ndi pa un dun. malayo pa. ndi nman ako dpat matakot kc marami pang tao. pero lahat cla palabas na. i didn't see anyone na papunta plang sa loob. and it was getting dark. and these people, ndi ko cla kilala. wat if they come near me and snatch my fone? =( or take me somewhere else that nobody can hear me? and kht na sumigaw ako, wala p ren mkakarinig saken. wat if they simply hurt me? ndi p nman alam sa bahay kung san ako nagpunta. i decided id call someone and tell him/her where i was. pra in case i don't return, malalaman nyo wer i was the last time. i was thinking of calling lui pero mlamang tulog un. paul didn't answer his fone. cno nlang? allan? asar ako sknya e. pero cge. he answered and told him wer i was. he instructed me to get out immediately. what the hell?! i just arrived. i promised to text him when im ok na.

i felt the need to go there before i have my birthday. i feel obliged to visit. i feel bad when each day passes and i couldn't at least drop by. i thought that maybe he would visit me instead if i won't make it to his grave.

i wished i brought scissors and cleaning stuff to fix the place. but even if i have it with me, i won't be able to do it. i lit a candle and talked to him. i miss him so much. i promised to go back some other time.


commencement exercises
nag leave ako for 2 days. first is to attend my mum's grad for her master's degree. the second day was supposed to be to attend a wedding.

sa PICC ung grad. it was the most disorganized event i've ever been to. sabe 2pm ung start, then it became 1pm. and when we got there, we thought we were already late. but no. it did not start until past 3pm. we have witnessed them do their rehearsals right there when they were supposed to have started already. the school president did not bother to practice his speech. he was a complete mess. and it was really funny. and those students kept standing and moving around while the president was making his terrible speech and the guest speaker who was good but has a weird accent. i recalled the grad practice we had back in college. we were strictly not allowed to stand and go anywhere else unless we finish. i wonder how we looked from behind. it must have been beautiful.

back to this grad. i hope next time they would work hard to improve it. they don't look like they could produce well-mannered students who can pass board exams. btw, the school.. it's PCHS.

that day i got mad kay kuya. it has something to do with money. i always pay for our transpo. he's always libre. wtf. on our way to PICC, i paid for the taxi. then pauwi mum borrowed some money from me and i gave her my last money assured that we could still go home ni kuya with what money he has. he's got lakad that night so i guessed that was the reason he wants to hurry. e kaso traffic. tas gusto pa nya mag taxi. i've got 20php left and he took it to add to his money. i don't have any money n tlga. we could've taken fx kaso galit n xa kuno. watever! he does not know how to make tipid. he'll spend everything khit ndi na kanya. BS tlga.

i left home the following day coz i don't want to go to the wedding anymore. and besides, i don't have money for another taxi ride. and xa nnman ang ksma ko. so i went with my cuzin nlng kc mag-eenrol xa nung araw na un. kuya txted and was looking for me. i didn't reply. and after 2 hours, his gf called and asked wer i was and how we wud mit to go to church. after nun, ndi pa kuntento ang kuya ko. he texted me pa. letting me know galit xa and telling me things i should've done. i nver tell him wer i go so why wud i bother tell him wer i was dat day. tas he blamed me pa coz f he knew sana daw maaga xa nkaalis ng house. ndi ko na problema un. asar tlga ako.

my sassy girl
i've seen that small billboard of the movie somewhere. and when basti invited me to watch, i refused. i don't like too much of those korean or chinese soaps and stuff anymore. and i definitely would not watch it in theaters. pero sabe nila maganda and it's really funny. so one time when my brother borrowed a vcd from his friend, we watched it at home. and sobrang funny nya. i told everyone i know na panoorin ung movie. so far all responded positively. except for karen. sabe nya it was the movie she was criticizing. pero it seemed to me na ako ung pinupuntirya nya and that jologs ang dating mo if u were caught watching korean flicks. so i told her i didn't like those stuff nga and wud never see it in big screens. pero prang ndi nya nagets. and thought na i watched it sa cine pa. ano buzz! ndi nga e. tas un, nag argue nkme. it was thru txt lang. oo napikon ako. e ndi ko nagustuhan ung mga cnabe nya. ndi lng kme nagkaintindihan. bhala nah. we haven't talked since it happened. that was nov. 12.
gudluck sa mga susunod na araw.

mind bloggin'

june 25, 2005 - the date when i last updated my blog. it's been a while indeed. i usually log into my account even if i don't have anything to write, or nothing to change on my template. but due to some kind of policy implemented inside our office premises [or was it just someone who did something to block the websites that we frequent], i was unable to write thoughts that came in randomly. i also wasn't able to check my friendster, which has been a great medium for communicating with old time friends and new. and i wasn't able to clean up my mailbox that was flooded by emails from different groups that i have.

i had no choice but to remember the events in my life that happened every single day and keep it in my head until i cannot contain it any longer. [what was it that i just said?]

well, there's nothing else to do. coz i don't wanna keep a hardcopy of my journal since i learned mum has been reading through all my writings. shit. i don't feel like sharing my thoughts with her. coz when i do, we, more often than not, end up arguing and hating each other for criticizing each other. and i hated that feeling i get whenever that happens.

so what happened while i was not here blogging?

i've witnessed 5 rallies along ayala ave. since gma confessed that she was the one on the phone conversation with garci. it was a disgusting sight. people in red and yellow gathered around and chanted some nonsense. confetti was all over the road and by the gutter and on the soil. air smelled so so something. coming from the building, i smelled the sweet corn and the distinct smell of fishballs, squidballs, etc. then as my friends and i cross the road, pungent smell of urine lingered. and sweat of people who marched from nowhere and settled along the sides of the streets. i don't want to sound "maarte" but call me one if you would, but the scene was really oh so yucky. i've never seen ayala ave. crowded by the "masa" and littered with all trash the people had carelessly thrown. that's why i could only react this way.

it was a good business for fx drivers though. since all escalators and elevators that led to and from the walkway and underpass, everyone has no choice but to walk away from the crowded ayala intersceting paseo. people who got off from work took the fx rides to landmark to avoid walking the farther route and sweating like one is in hell.

bought breakfast meals from jollibee everyday.

i stayed in the mall and go home until closing time.

finally got myself a new wallet. it was quite expensive for the kind of material but it's the nicest Emily Strange item left. i really like her now. i first saw it from margaux and it looks fine then. but now, i like it very much. im gonna save money again to buy that bag i like also.

fixed my VL and will soon enjoy the cool air breeze down the archipelago.

i dumped this guy who is inadvertently inlove with me.

did one more stupid thing. i texted rj and said that i was wondering why he deleted his post. i really shouldn't have done it. i got a reply with the reason why the entry was deleted which was sent from his "new number."

although i didn't think it was healthy, i drank less water and more soda.

i've been reading the papers recently. as in most of the pages. that is so not me. hmmm.

saw some movies past due. and a couple of new one too.

went to this bingo thingie. i didn't win but i'd like to go back. :p

visited Assumption during an American holiday coz we don't have work. i was happy to see old professors and personnel who still remember me. and ms. sion and sir mel from cybernook. those people we "bullied" and made friends with to get a seat in the lab, and access internet endlessly, and print our stuff. and Manong Ted, the school guard, my favorite. he knew about that guy i cried over with. and he always asks how im doing and he gives advice more than i needed. but i still listen to everything he says and in his story. he was a nice person. God bless Manong Ted.

i managed to pass the required email quota by week 260 and saved myself from ESP. i hope i made my new supervisor happy now. i sensed she loves giving out warnings.

i failed 3 sessions of QA and it was so unlikely to happen. i got mad. but i couldn't blame anybody but myself. i've been careless.

i'm a receipient of OPS performance bonus for june. i didn't have any call-ins. yey!

there are a lot of things that happened. these are just a few of "the highlights," if i may say. i'll be back with more.