i could if i would, but

i borowed bon's copy of grisham's "a time to kill" a few months ago and just finished recently. i wasn't reading much, not like i used to, during the time when the book was in my hands. the reason is stress, i guess. when i considered work as work--and i'm not really enjoying it at all, when i drowned myself in tears, when i lacked so much of a good night sleep, when everything around me makes me sick.yeah, it was stress. thus, the book sat with me for the longest time.

as i made my way through the pages, i remembered him who sent me an SMS saying, "pwede ka maging lawyer." maybe i could if i would, but i never really wanted to be a lawyer. i may be inspired to study law back in college coz i like my professor then but that's just about it. or i could study anything and everything and enjoy arguing and stuff like that but never push myself to pass the bar and pursue a career as a lawyer. never.

but what if i had? what if i were?

i would like to be a criminal lawyer. like Jake Brigance, i'd like to be a defense laywer to criminal cases. i think i'm gonna love it. and because i'm not filthy rich, i'd require a fee. haha! but you see, this is no ordinary job. my client's life is at stake. what if my client gets charged for something he didn't really do? i might die too if any of my be sentenced to death. i'd feel i will be responsible for his life if he hires me as his lawyer.

by the way, "a time to kill" is a good read. i learned about things that happen in, behind and outside the courtrooms. the role of the jurors reminded me of one of the many important things i learned in school - that you are accountable for your kapwa. [sorry, i couldn't find the appropriate term]. if i were given such responsibitly, i should take into considration everything else that is affected by a certain thing. i should not think only of myself but everyone else too.

and as reich used to say, "Not everything is about you."