happy father's day

happy father's day to all fathers out there.

Sonnet 17

I do not love you as if you were salt-rose, or topaz,
or the arrow of carnations the fire shoots off.
I love you as certain dark things are to be loved,
in secret, between the shadow and the soul.
I love you as the plant that never blooms
but carries in itself the light of hidden flowers;
thanks to your love a certain solid fragrance,
risen from the earth, lives darkly in my body.

I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where.
I love you straightforwardly, without complexities or pride;
so I love you because I know no other way than this:
where I does not exist, nor you,
so close that your hand on my chest is my hand,
so close that your eyes close as I fall asleep.

waxed out

damn good movie. me and some officemates saw house of wax on tuesday night. lucky for mai and anne they were able to release tension by screaming. but not for me. i was cursing but just couldn't scream. i sank in my seat and was still for the longest time i couldn't remember how long it has been. we headed for the terminal right after the movie and went our separate ways.

i wanted so much to take the passenger seat of the shuttle so i can stretch my legs that felt numb and weak [i really wasn't moving a joint back in the movie house], but for some reason there was this annoying old but not aged man who blocked my way. so i left the passenger seat alone coz i thought people waiting after me might get mad already.

i sat on the second of four rows of the shuttle, beside the window. then this "semikal" guy in a smart casual clothing with earphones on sat next to me. [cute.] sigh.

i suddenly thought of my ideal guy that my family should meet. i repeat, SHOULD. i know i would consider my own preferences in choosing the right kind of guy but then it is not the only thing that would matter. there are a lot more things. and you know how Filipino families do get in the way of "love" or what not.. in choosing who "would be" right for any Filipino daughter or son, in some cases.

i understand that family do take this role, especially parents, to protect and in a way try to guide and provide the best for their children. but i hope they would leave to their children the decision of choosing a partner. =)

*maldita*

pau: may barkada pala xa.
me: cno?
pau: c chito.
me: bkit?
pau: kase tinanong ko bakit cla nakatayo. sagot ni chito, "barkada break"
lolz!

carla's 23rd birthday

went to carla's birthday last night.
and it was also to celebrate the best thing, i guess, that happened to her so far.
she passed CPA board exams.
was happy she still remembers me.
had no intention of going there because i don't know how to get to the place.
but i found out jill is going there too after her work.
and i have to wait for her.
and so i waited.
and we took the bus as advised by a friend.
and not the mrt coz we'll have to walk if we do.
and then hailed a cab.
and reached the destination.
and saw some old friends from accounting block.
and we shared stories of some things passed.
and heard lots of stories on their hardships and what not during CPA reviews,
and that their block was bound by a curse that only two may pass in every CPA exam held.
had a pretty good time with them. :p
had to leave early coz work is waiting the following day.
enjoyed the ride home.
hope to see them again.

isusumbong kita kay jodie, cge

wala lang magawa...

me: tigers ba ung ust?
pau: yep
me: a ok. tnx
pau: cno to
me: duh!
me: ako
pau: duh ur face
me: duh ka ren!
me: sumbong kita kay jodie!
me: kc bad ka
pau: erika
pau: lang ya
me: cno kala mo? haha
pau: c angel

affected

nabasa ko 'to sa blog ni rj.
pwede namang sabihinig galit, bakit kailngan pang magsinungaling?
pwede namang sagutin ako ng "oo! fuck off will you?" bakit kailangan pang manahimik pag tinatanong?
pwede namang sabihing wag na akong magparamdam, bakit kailangang sabihing ayos lang pero cold naman?
pwede namang ako kausapin at komprontahin, bakit kailangan pang ganito?
hindi naman ako tanga para hindi maramdaman to ah.
bakit kailangang bale walain?
nakakainggit
pero sana kinakausap mo ako
kahit panay mura lang ang sinasabi mo
basta sigurado ako sa nararamdaman mo
halata naman eh
wag mo itago
hindi ako tanga
nakakainggit
sana kinakausap mo pa rin ako
sana sinasabi mo ang nasa loob mo
sawa na ako sa ganitong sitwasyon
akala mo ba lagi nalang ako ang mali
hindi sa lahat na oras kailangang tanggapin ko iyon
nakakairita kasi hindi mo naman na-apprecite lahat eh
ngayon alam ko na
masyado lahat mataas ang expectation mo
at hindi mo nagustuhan ang binigay ko
non-sense nanaman ako
leche

posted by ray john @ 11:56 AM


ano naman ngayon? affected ba ako?

oo, affected ako. assuming siguro ako, pero affected ako. kahit alam ko hindi ako sigurado kung kanino patungkol ang mga sinulat mo. ang mga bagay na ito ay madalas ko naririnig sa iyo. noon pa un, matagal na. marahil limot na. pero ako, naaalala ko pa ren.

oo, guilty ako. kaya ako nag rreact. at tulad mo, ito lang ang paraan ko para ilabas ang nararamdaman ko. alam ko maraming hindi makakaintindi kung bakit ko pa kailangan gawin ang bagay na ito. pabayaan niyo na lang ako. isipin niyo na lang na makakagaan sa loob ko itong ginagawa ko.